For the first half of the SMX mornings were a trouble zone, as the first few minutes upon waking I would not be thinking clearly. I slipped up a few times in those minutes, mumbling something. After about 50 days, that was less of an issue. It seems the tables have turned. When I woke up this morning something was in front of the alarm clock, so I could not see what time it was. Genna was walking around the room, but I forgot that I could simply ask her to move it.
Again later in the morning, I was trying to show Genna something on the computer and she asked me a question which I was about to answer by typing when she said, “You can speak now.” Right, much easier.
Even here at the office, Matthew was getting frustrated with GChat and I mentioned, “We can just talk about if you want.” I think it will take about a week before it is natural to speak again. Once I get to chatting it seems totally normal. It’s the initiation where I get tricked up. I can feel my mind reversing again as I have to retrain it to stop repressing the desire to speak. I also catch myself thinking I’m doing something wrong when I hear myself speaking.